I did not cut my son's hair with clippers and then decide not to take care of all the little "itchies" by disconnecting the hose from the vacuum cleaner and sucking up all the hairs right off his head and neck. Nope, not me.
He did not laugh hysterically and then ask me to "do baby Reese's head too, mommy!"
I did not pick out all the cashews from my husband's snack bags for work only to leave him with cashew-less mix nuts. Sorry sweetie!
I did not whisper "ice cream" in my son's ear so that he would then go beg Daddy to go on a car ride to get some ice cream.
Wow, that doesn't sound nearly as bad as my last parenting confession.